I get it.
I read about a year ago that yoga pants were eclipsing jeans, that’s what “Bloomberg Businessweek” said, and they rarely get it wrong.
This was confusing. Wasn’t Lululemon on the verge of bankruptcy, having made clothing that was too sheer, where you could see women’s derrieres?
Although I always found stretchy material to be somewhat see-through, undies visible, but I didn’t think too much about it. I mean the pants were on the market for months, it took that long for people to figure out there was a problem?
I’m a jeans and polo shirt kind of guy. That was a big breakthrough in high school, the ability to wear jeans to class. But back then we called them “dungarees.” And by time I was a senior you could learn sans socks. But jeans were our uniform. I preferred Lee, never Wrangler, sometimes Levi’s.
And then the designer jean tsunami hit and lifted all boats. I bought pairs of Chemin de Fers, never Sasson, but definitely Guess. Jeans were forever…
Until yoga pants.
Now let me tell you, we men have no problem with yoga pants. Once we figured out what they were. The way they hugged your curves. But I don’t pay attention to fashion, I read about yoga pants before I could pick them out in the wild. And then I had Felice point them out to me, nice, but I didn’t care.
Until we went to Lululemon.
They opened a store in Vail, right across the street from the condo. Felice wanted to visit, I tagged along. I didn’t even KNOW they made men’s stuff, but waiting while Felice shopped I tried stuff on.
And decided to buy a pair of shorts.
It was a whim, something you do on vacation. I could wear them in Vail, nobody would notice, there’d be no cred at risk.
But now I wear them all the time.
That was my first pair, which the cleaning lady burned with an iron. Melted, that is. And she was apologetic, but there was no point in excoriating her, I’d just buy another pair.
But you couldn’t get them.
I thought this was a fashion issue, whatever you like they stop manufacturing, but they were out of stock!
Now the model I wear is just above the knee. But they didn’t even have the short-shorts available. That’s right, this year in Vail the store was wiped clean. But the clerk was a maven, he was going to open a store in Oklahoma in days. He checked inventory. They had one color in Santa Monica, a few online. And I meant to buy them immediately…
But I didn’t.
And Santa Monica was wiped out and they had one color available online so I clicked.
And now I can’t take them off. BECAUSE THEY’RE SO COMFORTABLE!
I know, I know, you’re supposed to look good, that’s what it’s all about, especially in Los Angeles. But first and foremost you’ve got to FEEL good, at least I do.
The material is soft and stretchy, it doesn’t irritate my skin. Since I’ve gotten my new pair I’ve worn them every day, for weeks. (Of course I wash them, don’t even think otherwise.) And I regret when I have to wear long pants, and am thinking that maybe I should buy some long pant Lululemons (no, the men’s are not hip-hugging).
So either you’re in the know or you’re not. Either you get what I’m talking about or you don’t.
Once upon a time you had to dress in black, that was the rock and roll ethos. Before rock died and everybody listened to different music and didn’t care about what you were wearing. The older you get you realize no one is really paying attention to you, unless you’re famous, and I’m not, and if you are they love you until they hate you and then you’re nobody and irrelevant once again.
So I guess you’d call this a sales pitch.
But it’s really a testimonial.
Lululemon is not cheap.
But like divorce, IT’S WORTH IT!