Wednesday, March 15, 2017

How To Pretend You're At SXSW 2017 | hypebot

image from yzclient.comSXSW 2017 is underway, but perhaps you blew your travel budget donating funds to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood or your local Premium Tequila Society. Or it could just be that the chaise lounge by your Austin hotel pool is so damn comfortable that you can't bear the thought of waiting in line to see Buzz Band 2017.

Whatever the reason, if you can't participate in SXSW this year, but don't want your hip rating to sink to the Osmond Family level, we offer strategies to pretend that you jetted into Austin and didn't miss a thing. 

  1. poolTurn off your location or geotagging on Twitter, Foursquare and all your apps, so no one knows where you really are.
  2. Follow and contribute to the tweets using #SXSW
  3. No one can track you are when you call from your cell to share how good the bbq is at Stubbs.
  4. The safest answer to "Dude, where are you?" is always "Man, that line was too long. I'll try to catch up with you later." 
  5. Force yourself to listen to as many of the songs as you can stand on the (Unofficial SXSW) 2017 Torrrent and pick out a few to talk about that really sucked. 
  6. Watch band performances and select keynotes on the SXSW ON video channel online and on your couch via Roku.
  7. After SXSW: Print out the official schedules and maps. Crumple them up, sit and spill a little beer on them. Then leave them around your office during the week after the conference.
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